I can’t run anymore

I can’t run anymore


This shit is been going on for too long. It is time to put it an end. For all my life I tried to hide myself from me. But my heart tells me smth is missing. I came believe that if you hide from yourself it is like running in circles. I know I am not a bad person, maybe I’m a jerk, ugly but I’m also smart and talented. My only strength is music and maybe I will not become a famous musician but I know I will be a good one (if I quit smoking) or at least I’ll dye trying. My family doesn’t believe in me but other people do. First, I have to get to know myself. I have to find the reason why I cry without being unhappy why I laugh when I’m sad (or why I talk alone).

Monochrome

Monochrome
By Afloarei Daniel ( me, d'oh;)) )

The unseen vision of serenity
Lost his color, lost his sense
Dual souls trapped in one
Black and white, yen and yang
In this world of vainly measures
I am a god of desperation closures

Darkness drapes my soul

Calms me down, my insanity
Voices screaming, monochrome dreaming
See the world's end on his way
No one to blame
Pain still doesn't hurt
Make this colorless end short


Negativity pulls me back

So untouched by the flames of happiness
So many things cause distress
The wind blows out the rust
It turns into black
Covers the eye so hard
Fight it back, can’t see the light
What the hell is wrong with me?
Funeral is what has left...

Not now, not this time…

I know I made some mistakes in my life. But ever since I met you, my life has changed and I’m not ready to let it go. Not for this stupid reason that we came out with, not this time.

Last time when I did such a stupid thing I ended up full of resentments, crying on my knees. Every time you haunted my mind I tried to kill this pain using cigarettes and chocolate [oh God I gained 3 kg=))]. I know it sounds silly but I love you with all my heart, you were [are?] my best fried, and we had such a good time together (remember?). We fight, we say dirty things to each other, I wished your death [I wasn’t serious, you know?], you wanted to kick my ass, but in the end we said we’re sorry and everything came back to normal.

What kind of friendship is this? We have to make sacrifice, we have to ignore the small mistakes or else … God knows if I can handle it anymore [or you, your big heart….]. Anyway, you marked my life like no one, you made me cry, scream, but what really matters is that you were always next to me, you made me laugh and gave me you shoulder every time I felt like I was about to cry the hell out of me :P